Democratic National Convention

The Democrats are coming to Denver next week. We have thousands of folks lined up to protest something, be it war, peace, killing fur-bearing animals, whatever. What the Democrats have to do with any of these things, I am not sure, but protests must be held. I am going to stay out of town in New York most of the week to avoid the hullabaloo.

I have nothing against the Democrats. I am sort of apolitical. I vote for the person whom I think will best represent me, regardless of political party, which I think most people do these days. I don't think that the US will come to an end regardless of who is elected.

I do know one thing: when all of these delegates fly into Denver, one thing they are bound to see as they leave the airport is a big. BLUE statue of a stallion with lighted red eyes. It cost us in excess of $1 million. All it needs to be the world's tackiest sculpture is a flashing neon penis. It simply screams, "Hi, folks, welcome to Hicksville". The delegates will know that, for all of Denver's claims to be a cosmopolitan, hip town, it is still full of rubes. Have fun, Democrats, and don't forget to spend lots of cash. We need the money for that neon penis upgrade.